Fibro math 101 part 2

Deposits:

Deposits into the physical energy bank are hard to come by for the fibro parent. But I have a theory that there are different kinds of energy banks. Mental, emotional, physical and spiritual.

It's easy for the physical deficits to high jack all the other kinds of energy. I find my mental energy and physical energy are very closely linked. If I'm physically tired- my brain usually follows suit. My organization ability goes on vacation. Don't ask me to read anything complicated- like a recipe or  my new food processor manual. I usually ask my partner to make it simple and break it down for me. And he tells me what I need to know- after he's read the manual- " pushing this button makes it do that."

I find when my brain and body abandon me in my time of need- life becomes very intuitive. If that makes any sense. It's like a different kind of brain kicks in. It's more automatic. It just does and doesn't think so hard about out comes and steps.  It jumps and worries about the outcome later. I think it makes regular people think I'm odd. Flighty. Flakey. Disorganized. But it works for me.

I try to let go and accept where my body is at. I focus on breathing and keeping my anxiety low. Stressing out about how much stuff I need to do, in comparison to the level of physical energy I have-
creates stress. In the form of anger, frustration, resentment, depression, hopelessness.  Which creates more deficits.

After 24 years of fibro- I'm learning there isn't much point in going there. ( that lesson took me FOREVER to figure out) So instead I switch into what I call- " Surfer, creative, intuitive, right brained mode."

And somehow- amazingly- things still come together. Meals happen, kids have good times, bathroom is ok clean. I need a nap. But it's all ok. I'm not stressing. " It's all good dude."

Then my emotional energy is good. I've let go. Accepting what's happening. Deposits are going into the emotional energy  bank left right and center. Despite the fact my body feels like poop and my mind is swamp water. I can say, " yeah. I feel you body. Yes. I hear you. Ok go do your thing. But I'm going to be over here. Laughing at something funny my little girl did. Or enjoying this cup of chai.
Let me know when you decide you can do more."

It's a good place to be.